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    You are here Home » courage

    Why Great Leadership Requires the Courage to Accept Pain

    Last updated on Apr 13, 2017 by Dan McCarthy · This post may contain affiliate links

    Guest
    post from Angela Sebaly
    :

    As a
    leadership coach, I’ve spent decades observing hundreds of people who have
    strikingly different backgrounds and equally diverse approaches to leadership.
    Despite the differences, there has been one quality that has separated the good
    managers from the exceptional leaders: the willingness to step up to the plate
    and face any challenge rather than avoid it. That means making difficult
    decisions or implementing unpopular changes. It also means taking a stand or
    holding an emotionally charged conversation. Even giving and receiving feedback
    can be challenging - yet it’s a challenge that absolutely must be faced.

    Thus, being a
    great leader means turning towards the problem and tackling it head-on rather
    than running from tension. Not just every now and then, but regularly.  This may sound like par for the course, but
    in fact, it’s more complicated than it sounds and is often shirked because with
    challenges, comes pain.

    Most of us
    have already experienced this somehow. After all, isn’t it easier to find a workaround
    in a tricky situation than to risk a confrontation - even if that confrontation
    might open the door to a lasting solution? This is just one example among many.

    Instead of
    trying to erase or evade the potential for pain in the midst of challenges, I
    advise leaders to lean into the experience. This begins with acknowledging that
    pain will inevitably arise  - whether
    you’re holding a touchy conversation with an employee who has been an hour late
    for a week straight, or making the decision to cut back on departmental funding
    or personnel.

    Pain can be a
    tricky thing. We humans experience pain differently. Our threshold for pain is
    entirely subjective. Pain is a stimulus, and how we perceive that stimulus
    differs based on our individual propensity to sense it and tolerate it. One
    person might faint at breaking a bone while another doesn’t realize it’s broken
    for days, if not weeks. To be an effective leader, you have to understand your
    relationship with pain and learn to endure it. 
    It is, quite simply, part of the process of effective leadership.  Leaders must be mentally prepared for this
    fact that pain and have a toolkit at their fingertips for rising to meet
    challenges instead of shirking them in favor of stability and comfort.

    This, in turn, requires courage. John Wayne once said that courage is
    being scared to death and saddling up anyway. This definition is one I’ve held
    onto in my work, because I believe courage partly comes from a leader’s ability
    to face fear and potential pain.

    The good news
    is, no matter how pain-averse you are, you can develop the courage and strength
    to rise to challenges and work through pain. Everyone can. Leaders falsely believe they are
    required to be the Navy Seals of the workplace -- unemotional, unwavering,
    strong -- to be considered courageous, but in reality, we all have the power to
    tap into courage.

    That’s because
    courage is not something we are born with. 
    It is not a definitive characteristic like the color of your eyes or
    your height. Rather, courage is a mindset that requires only grit and
    determination. To be courageous means to keep working at something even if it
    is tough or uncomfortable. It takes practice and dedication, but once it’s
    developed it is a priceless skill that can be applied to all varieties of
    leadership, whether in the workplace, in the community or at home.

     
    Angela Sebaly, author of The Courageous Leader (Wiley, spring
    2017), is co-founder and CEO of the firm
    Personify Leadership, a training provider. Formerly the Vice President of Leadership Development
    for a global oil, gas and chemicals inspection company, Angela also serves as
    principle consultant for the firm Invested Leadership. An entrepreneur
    developing a global presence,  Angela has
    been coaching, facilitating and leading teams and organizations for over two
    decades. Education, communication and courage are the pillars of her life’s
    work.  She lives with her family in Fort
    Lauderdale. 
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