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    You are here Home » conflict

    A Manager’s Guide to Preventing and Dealing with Workplace Conflict

    Last updated on Nov 10, 2016 by Dan McCarthy · This post may contain affiliate links

    Most people can
    handle just about any amount and type of work that comes their way. It’s not
    the work that puts them over the edge – its conflict with coworkers!

    Conflict in the
    workplace – or anywhere - is inevitable. Conflict is part of being human. Some
    people are more comfortable with it than others, and some people tend to be
    “conflict carriers”.

    Ultimately,
    it’s part of a manager’s job to deal with workplace conflict head-on. Ignoring
    it will only make matters worse, and will eventually impact team productivity,
    results, employee satisfaction, and the manager’s reputation.

    Here are some
    ways to manage workplace conflict, so that little problems don’t fester into
    BIG problems:

    1. Make the ability to collaborate an expectation. Establishing expectations start with
    the hiring process. Are you looking to hire lone wolfs, or employees that can
    collaborate with others? If it’s the latter, than you need to ask questions
    that uncover how well the candidate gets along with their co-workers. Look for
    red flag answers like, “Well, I have very
    high
    standards, and sometimes get
    frustrated with others if they don’t meet those standards”.
    Which often
    translates to: “I thought my co-workers
    were idiots and we fought like cats and dogs.”

    Make the
    ability to collaborate a job expectation for all employees, reward it, and make
    it a condition for advancement. 
     
    2. Recognize the difference between
    healthy and destructive conflict.

    Healthy conflict is making it OK to disagree, to debate the issue, challenge
    the process, and speak up. Destructive conflict is when it gets personal, gets
    in the way of working effectively, and has a negative impact on productivity,
    innovation, and ultimately, results.

    3. Don’t ignore it – look for little signs that can turn
    into big problems. A manager needs to be having regular one-on-ones with all
    direct reports, as well as regular team meetings. These are the opportunities
    to ask questions, listen, and watch for subtle clues of unhealthy conflict.
    Most employees won’t want to tattle of their co-workers or be seen as a
    complainer – but you might pick up that they are going out of their way to work
    with another employee. Point out your observation, and ask why.

    4. Be a role model with your peers. Many managers don’t understand the
    connection between how well they work with and talk about their fellow
    managers, and how well their own employees work together. Employees learn more
    from watching a manager’s behaviors than they do from what the manager says.

    5. Learn a conflict resolution
    methodology.
    Most
    people shy away from conflict because it’s often messy and painful. If you’re
    not good at something, or you don’t like it, you’ll most likely avoid it.

    However, if you
    learn and practice a consistent approach, you get good at it, and your world
    gets better as a result of dealing with it, then you’ll be more likely to seek
    out opportunities to deal with conflict.

    I’d recommend
    taking a course in conflict management or reading a good book, like
    Crucial Conversations. A good course or book will give you a
    framework and set of tools, which gives you the confidence to confront conflict
    in a constructive, deliberate way. You’ll also be able to coach employees how
    to handle their own conflicts.

    There are a lot
    of different conflict resolution models, but most of them have the following 5 elements:

                1. Stay calm and dealing with the
    emotions first
                2. State what is bothering you in a
    respectful and specific way
                3. Listen to the other person’s
    perspective for complete understanding
                4. Problem solving – look for root
    causes and win-win solutions
                5. Agree on actions to be taken, and
    making mutual commitments

    Any new skill
    takes time and practice before we get comfortable with it. The important thing
    is to have the right intention – which is to resolve the conflict, not to punish the other person.

    6. Help your employees with their
    conflicts.
    Once you’ve
    learned how to handle your own conflicts, you can help your employees deal with
    their conflicts. There are two ways to do this – teach them a methodology (or
    have them learn the same way you did) so that they can handle on their own. In
    fact, some managers and experts say this is the only approach a manager should
    take – that is, they should never get
    involved in a conflict between two of their employees. While I can see the
    value of encouraging employees to handle their own conflicts without having to
    “run to Dad or Mom”, I still think are times when a manager needs to step in.

    However – it’s
    important that the manager doesn’t get caught in the middle by having
    individual conversations with each employee and trying to mediate. Instead, the
    manager should sit down with both employees and coach the employees through the
    conflict resolution process.


    Learn to
    proactively eliminate destructive conflict and deal with it before it gets out
    of control and everyone will be able to focus on their work, and not get caught
    up in unproductive and stressful workplace drama.
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