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    You are here Home » feedback

    10 Questions and Answers for Managers about Praise

    Last updated on Nov 14, 2012 by Dan McCarthy · This post may contain affiliate links

    Praise is one of the most misunderstood, powerful, and
    underutilized management skills. The following is a reenactment of an actual
    coaching conversation I had with a manager.
    1. What is “praise”? Just what exactly are we talking
    about here?
    Giving praise means telling someone about something
    positive that they did. Other common terms for praise include positive
    recognition, positive feedback, a complement, appreciation, a pat on the back,
    props, kudos, WERK, toot, and yadah.

    2. Why is it important for managers to praise their
    employees?

    EVERYONE wants it and it’s one of the easiest things to
    give. It encourages, inspires, motivates, rewards, shows respect, and retains.

    Being appreciated is a basic human need, right up there
    with a need for food, caffeine, sex, and smartphones.

    In survey after survey, employees consistently report
    that “recognition for a job well done” is one of their most important
    motivators. And in those same surveys, the majority of respondents always say
    they don’t get enough of it.

    Think about it: all employees want it. Most employees don’t get enough of it. As a manager, you
    have an unlimited supply of it and it doesn’t cost you a dime. How damn hard
    can it be to be a good boss without even breaking a sweat??

    3. Can you give too much praise? You know, overdo it? I
    don’t want my employees walking around with swelled heads.

    I’ll answer that question with another question:

    How many managers have you worked for gave you just
    waaaay too much praise?

    I’ve asked that question to hundreds – perhaps thousands
    of managers in seminars, and I’ve never seen a single hand go up.

    I suppose it could
    happen – but given all of the potential benefits, it just may be one of those
    crazy risks worth taking. You might just have to run out and buy some
    extra-large hats.

    4. What are some of the best excuses for why a manager
    doesn’t give praise?

    Ah, there are many, and I’ve heard them all. Not enough
    time, my manager doesn’t give me praise, my employees work remotely, I have too
    many direct reports, my employee(s) haven’t done anything to deserve it, and
    I’m not comfortable giving it.

    All of which are lame, lame, and lamer excuses. The
    manager either doesn’t see the value in it, doesn’t know how to do it
    effectively so shy’s away from it, or was raised by a pack of hyenas.

    5. OK, I get it, and I was raised by my Mom and Dad. How
    DO you give praise effectively? Is it something that a manager can screw up, or
    will employees appreciate that I at least tried it out?

    Actually, it IS possible to screw it up. In fact, I
    suspect getting a negative reaction to praise is one of the reasons managers
    don’t do it often enough. Some people – maybe even most people – are as bad at
    receiving praise as others are about giving it. They’ll shrug it off, say it
    was nothing, clam up, or get embarrassed. So, a manager doesn’t always get
    instant gratification for giving praise. That’s OK – as a manager, it’s not all
    about YOU. Even if the employee doesn’t react the way you might hope they
    would, it doesn’t mean it’s not important to them. Chances are, they’ll go home
    and tell their significant other. Or maybe not tell anyone – but trust me, at
    the end of the day, it matters.

    Let’s go get back to screwing it up. Yes, in order for
    praise to have its maximum positive effect, it should be:

    A. Timely
    Timely simply means not waiting too long. You don’t want
    to have one of those
    George
    Costanza “Jerk Store” moments
    , where you think of
    something witty to say 3-4 days too late.

    B. Sincere
    Don’t make stuff up just to check it off your list. Be
    patient, like a hunter stalking its prey. LOOK for good things – it’ll happen,
    and when it does, pounce on it!

    C. Specific
    This is the one where people seem to have the hardest
    time with. It will take a little effort and practice to get really good at it,
    but when you do, the sincerity will follow.

    There’s two parts to “Specific”: (1) a description of the
    behavior or action and (2) why the
    action or behavior was such a good thing.

    6. That last thingy sounds a little tricky – can you give
    me an example?

    Be happy too:

    “Thanks
    for asking for clarification and examples on how to be specific. By doing that,
    it allowed me to make sure not only you know what it means, but chances are, a
    lot of other readers probably had the same question”.
    Much better than "good question", right?

    7. OK, I’m sold, but how can I turn over a new leaf
    without looking like I just got back from charm school or read the latest
    leadership book?

    The good thing about learning how to give praise is that
    there are SO many opportunities to practice in a safe environment. You can try
    it with you kids, parents, significant other, waiters and waitresses, cab
    drivers, flight attendants, nurses, teachers, …… the possibilities are endless!
    Best of all, the better you get at it, you’ll start enjoying the reaction you
    get from people as much as they enjoy the praise.

    8. Is it OK to praise my boss? Isn’t that “sucking up”?

    Yes, it is perfectly OK to praise your boss, as long as
    your intentions are to sincerely recognize and show appreciation for something positive,
    not to gain some kind of political edge.

    9. What about public vs. private praise?

    I’d have to answer this one with a big, fat “it depends”.
    There are pros and cons to both, so it all depends on the situation and most
    importantly, the individual’s preference. It’s part of getting to know your
    employees and what is motivates them. If you don’t know, ask.

    10. Can you recommend a book on the topic?

    Seriously?! A book? Come on, this isn’t rocket science.
    But if you’re really all geeked up about learning more about employee
    recognition, I’d recommend the classic
     1501 Ways to Reward Employees, by Bob
    Nelson, and Love 'em or Lose 'em:
    Getting Good People to Stay, by Beverly Kaye.
    But don’t over study it – just get started today.

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