Thursday, June 29, 2017

Three Negotiation Keys to Leadership Success

Guest post from Corey Kupfer:

There are three keys to true negotiating success.  If you master these three keys, not only will you have much more success in negotiating but you will be able to apply them to be a more effective leader.  The three keys are Clarity, Detachment and Equilibrium (CDE) and they are the fundamental framework of Authentic Negotiating.
Clarity: Authentic negotiators know what will and won’t work for them on every significant term and what their true bottom line is – from a place of clarity, not ego.  In addition to doing the external preparation, there is a body of internal work that great negotiators do to get aligned and clear on their true objectives.

Detachment: Authentic negotiators can walk away from a negotiation with no hesitation – not from a place of anger or upset, but from a place of detachment with no judgment or hard feelings.  They have a preference that the deal gets done or they wouldn’t be taking the time to negotiate but they understand that the only thing worse than not getting a deal done is doing a bad deal and they trust that – whatever the outcomes – it’s for the best.

Equilibrium: Authentic negotiators don’t let emotions dictate their actions, instead they maintain equilibrium during the heat of tough negotiation to stay present and preserve their clarity and detachment.  They develop the tools and practices that support them in not getting triggered or thrown off even during heated negotiations or in the face of manipulative tactics.
As you can see, authentic negotiating is a very different approach to negotiating.  Unlike a lot of negotiating training which focuses on tactics and countertactics (which are often manipulative and ineffective and, even when good, do not get to the core of true negotiating success), authentic negotiating focuses on the deep inner work that you need to do to become a great negotiator.  It is only after doing that deep inner work that you then design an effective negotiating strategy which comes from the place of CDE.

So how does becoming an authentic negotiator relate to your leadership success?  As illustrated above, great negotiating – like great leadership – is a “state of being,” not a skill, and it’s important to understand the distinction between the two.  It’s like the difference between having a position of leadership and being a true leader. You may have authority, but you’re not a true leader because of any position or authority.  A true leader has people who are willing and excited to follow him or her; if you’re just giving people orders, you are not actually leading them. So, if position or authority don’t equal leadership, what does? What makes leadership is the person: who he or she is and what I call his or her state of being.  Attaining that state of being requires internal work like self-awareness, being aligned, listening, connecting to internal truth and communicating effectively.
It’s the same thing in negotiating. What we’re talking about here is who you are when you come into that negotiating room—who you are being? If you are being a person who is clear, calm, collected, who doesn’t let your emotions adversely impact you, and if you’re detached from the outcome, then you will be successful. If you have all kinds of techniques, tactics and counter-tactics ready to go, but your state of being is in fear, scarcity, upset, anger, rigidity—whatever it is—then you are not going to be successful, no matter how many techniques you learn.  The same is true in leadership.  You can learn various leadership techniques and tactics but the people you are attempting to lead know whether you are authentic.  They know whether you have clarity on your vision, objectives and strategy.  They know if you can be detached so that you are flexible enough to be willing to change course if something is not working.  They know if you stay calm and centered in challenging times or if you lose your equilibrium.

So, learn to attain and maintain CDE and become a great negotiator and a much better leader!
About the Author:
Corey Kupfer has negotiated successful deals for over 30 years as an entrepreneur and lawyer, and is committed to inspiring authenticity in business. Kupfer runs his own firm, Kupfer & Associates, PLLC, and founded a speaking, training and consulting company called Authentic Enterprises, LLC. He’s the author of the best-selling book, AuthenticNegotiating:  Clarity, Detachment &Equilibrium – The Three Keys to True Negotiating Success& How to Achieve Them

1 comment:

Peter Danilchick said...

Corey - what an insightful post! Negotiators must be humble, separating themselves from the desire for personal aggrandizement, assertive display of negative emotions, and the temptation to not do the hard upfront work of deciding "what we really want." One piece of additional advice: the lead negotiators should beforehand openly, honestly and thoroughly discuss -- in detail --the objectives, the negotiating process, and the fallback and walkaway positions, with the client or top-decision maker in a corporate organization. Sometimes the time required to do this is skimped upon -- assuming that everyone understands what we want, what we are willing to give up and what we will not. If so, and when things don't go as well as hoped, there can be post-mortem finger-pointing, which is not good for anyone involved.
Thanks, Peter Danilchick
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